Toilet paper

.... Over or Under... you decide...

Fat People

I am a fat guy / big guy / tall and 'stocky' or whatever words you want to use. I am starting a job soon and figured I would go buy some new clothes. Try to give myself a fresh look to go with the fresh job. Seeing as how I am a big guy 6'5 I need to buy tall shirts so I don't look like I am wearing a mid-drift. I recently went in to the Big and tall section at JCPenny's and there were 4 different types of shirts:

• Plaid
• Polos
• Hawaiian
• "Big Dog" shirts

First off, plaid? Don't get me wrong I have plenty of plaid shirts, but you can only wear so many before people refer to you as 'that plaid guy'.

Polos are fine, just not a big fan of them. Its like a T-shirt and button down had a retarded baby that didn't know what was what.


Hawaiian shirts... Who ever decided that fat people liked Hawaiian shirts. I have two, they are my "OMG I have nothing to wear... what should I wear... " shirts. Maybe cause fat people are jolly, and you are jolly when you are on a beach in Hawaii?? I am also Jolly after beating up a hooker, playing with a puppy, eating a steak, Christmas morning down by the tree in my PJs, or playing a video game. However these activities are not necessarily the best shirts to wear.


Lastly, "Big Dog" shirts... we have all seen these. I am fat, He is fat, She is fat, we can all see this, its not a secret or something you can really hide well... its just a fact. This being said we do not need to publicize this by wearing T-Shirts that say stupid shit with this big dog, or shirts that read "I'm Fat, and your Ugly, but I can loose weight" Things like this give fat people a bad rep. Whatever happened to just solid colors, or non-retarded t-shirts. Hell, why not just have the same retarded t-shirts as everyother company, just make it a few sizes bigger.

This is even the same at the big and tall stores. Where the specifically focus on 'big and tall' guys. I mean seriously, get a better freakin selection, like some stripes or solid colors, or plaid is alright, just some different options... Hawaiian shirts... no never, just don't do that.

I'm IN!

So I am now 'moved in' for the most part. All my worldly belongings are in my new Apartment. You can find pics here. Also there is a video here. Now I just have to wait and wait and wait some more till I start making some money, to pay off the debt I have come into from getting a new place and the bare essentials needed for living (bed, plates, internet).

New Apartment...

So I am soo close to figuring out my new apartment, I just don't know which one to choose...

First we have RidgeView. Costs 1630 a month that gets me:

• Covered parking
  
• Built in AC units
• Built in washer dryer
• Built in Dishwasher
• 652 sq ft
• nice neighborhood
  
• nice area
• 'scenic view' (pretty nice)
• 1 bed
• 1 bath
• 1 kitchen
• 1 'living room'
• bay window
  
• looks like it has a sense of community
• 20 minute bus ride and 5 minute walk from work
• Feels a bit 'far' from white plains
• no utilities included

Then we have this place downtown for 1250 (+ 100 bucks for a car spot in a municipal building a half mile down the road)

• Real close to work (about .5 mile)
• I can get FIOS
• around fun things.. cause its right downtown
• more of an apartment area
• gas included
• studio apartment
• feels smaller than the other place
• no in room laundry
• no dish washer
• doesn't seem 'as nice'
  
• must park in municipal parking (that extra hundred)
• no air condtioning
• hard wood floor

Link to Maps C is 1630, B is 1350, A is work

new everything

new job, new apartment (right now a hotel room), new feelings. At the risk of sounding Emo, (which I assure you I am not). I feel fine, then I think "When do I go back home, I miss my friends" At this point reality hits and I think, oh... I am home... well then I guess I will... um... I dunno...

I know your thinking WAAA WAAA go cry me a river and unpack all that sand from your vagina. Its just weird not knowing ANYONE or the surounding area. When I moved to Rochester from
Buffalo it was somewhat the same except for 3 key differences

• The area was spread out and easy to navigate
• I had Reslife training immediately after I moved in which forced me to meet and be-friend 12 new people.
• If I needed to I could drive back home and see friends.

Whatever, I am just bitching / complaining. I know that after a while it will become better and the sadness will fade. But if the sadness I have from missing my friends fades will that mean I don't miss them any more or I have just learned to deal? I wake up thinking "Oh I wonder what X Y or Z is doing... oh wait.. " Its weird and it sucks. I am half tempted to move back to Rochester and take a different job. But i know if I do that I will just hate myself for doing it and for passing up this opportunity that I have in front of me.

I am not looking for answers, nor am I looking for pitty or advice. I just want to voice my opinion on whats happening. Maybe if I write what I am feeling, I will feel better.

Well my water is boiling so now its time to stop this writing, go and make some dinner.

Fire Exits

So I am was walking in school the other day and saw a fire exit sign glowing red. So I don't understand this. All my life, I have been told the following

• If you are in a fire, get on your hands and knees to avoid smoke
• Smoke Kills, not the heat of the fire
• Smoke Rises
• Follow the exit signs to safety
• The Smoke is so thick that you won't be able to recognize your own house.

So what I don't understand is why are the fire exits on the ceiling? Fire starts, and you get on your hands and knees as the building / room begins to fill with smoke. You look frantically for the fire exits but don't see them.. So you can A hope for the best and try to find your own way out, or B stand up and search for a fire exit and pray you see it before you die from heat or smoke. Not to mention, God forbid you are in a building without lit fire exit signs, you just get the old school painted ones...

Seems like to me that the signs should be closer waist level or better yet embedded on the ground. Or we can use light strips on the ground like the plane has. Just doesn't make sense to me.


-Me

The world she is a changing...

So its been a while since I have posted, for this I apologize. I have been working on my masters thesis non-stop and I can see the end!! I get to defend my final thesis this upcoming Monday, at 11am, after that I am finally done with school!!! Its a bit terrifying thinking about being self sufficient and becoming 'matured'. Oh well, I guess that is just how the world changes, I know I am not the first person to have thoughts like this, nor will I be the last, but still... terrifying.

So, on the first of June, I go back home to Buffalo with all my worldly possessions. Then on June 4th I move to White Plains (location is still unknown) where I know nobody :/ and start my new job on the 16th. I am all about adventures, and this by all means will be one ( I still don't have permanent housing ), and once I get that housing, I have no furniture. All I have to my name right now are my toys ( 360, Wii, misc other fun things ), books, clothes and technology ( computers, monitors, TV, etc.). As of right now, I have just bought the domain www.constipatedkoala.com, so that should work to get you to my blog in the next few days ( once the nameservers kick over ) Aside from that nothing really new in my world, just same shit different day. After this Monday, I will get to sleep, and eat a real meal and play some video games which makes me happy. Hope all is well with you guys!


-andy

Sooo long story short I was at the GDC, and we were leaving one of the sessions and we saw these furries outside of the conference hall, and I looked at my friend, gave her my phone and said, press this button and keep it on me. She did, then as I walk to them you can hear me say... "Alright, fuck it .... here we go" help me out by digging here: http://digg.com/comedy/Andy_vs_Furries or watch the movie here, then go and digg it!

Dear Tim Hortons

Dear Tim Hortons,

Let me first state that I love you, you are wonderful and your treats are generally delicious. However, the reason I write to you today is to notify you of some knowledge your employees might be lacking. I have worked in food industry, and do not get me wrong, it is no treat. You get dumb people that don't understand, smart people that think they are better than you, fat people ordering sticks of butter and thin people 'getting stuffed' off some crackers. So I feel your pain, however you need to become less dumb yourself. I go to Tim Hortons at least 2 times a week, sometimes more. Now I realize that getting a coffee with two creams and two sugar is a pretty complex order, but somehow I probably get the correct beverage 1 out of 5 times. Just the same, when I order a bagel, I would say 2/3rds of the time it looks like a drunken monkey raped my bagel then rather than toasting it just farted on it and served it to me.
Don't get me wrong, this is not always the case, but good lord, its not that hard. You cut the bagel, insert in to toaster, spread cream cheese on it and give it to me, there is no point where you need to make more than 1 or MAYBE 2 cuts. So thank you Tim Hortons for giving me delicious bagels, but you can go f*&# yourself for not being consistent with such a complicated order as a coffee and bagel.

sincerely
me

Odd...

So it turns out life everyonce in a while throws you a new lesson... Yesterdays lesson was do not go running / jogging on the treadmil with 'skater' shoes. Grant it these are the most comfortable shoes I have ever owned and I love them (Vans), they are not good for running.

That being said, I thought I would write about my meeting with Pearl. Her real name is not Pearl, nor do I know her however she struck me as a person who would have such a name. As
I was walking out of Jitters to my car this woman drives up in her 2008 "mid life crisis car" (I think a cougar convertible) and asks "Excuse me young man, do you knwo what this is..." and points to her dashboard (by the way, she is at least 90 years old). Upon further inspection it turns out her hazards are on. I told her that and she just stared at me like a dear in head lights. I then told her that she needed to push the button that she first pushed to get the hazards on... deer in head lights... I then told her to look for an orange triangle and push it. She just acted like I told her that I not only gave birth to a cow, but then raised it on my own, sent it to the Moon for after school work, then slaughtered it and consumed it myself, all in a 2 week time span. I then looked around and found it on her dash, and told her "It's OK, just push that..." She did, then looked happy said thanks and literally peeled out. It was odd... I think she might have stolen it. God bless you Pearl, you provided me entertainment!