Dear Tim Hortons

Dear Tim Hortons,

Let me first state that I love you, you are wonderful and your treats are generally delicious. However, the reason I write to you today is to notify you of some knowledge your employees might be lacking. I have worked in food industry, and do not get me wrong, it is no treat. You get dumb people that don't understand, smart people that think they are better than you, fat people ordering sticks of butter and thin people 'getting stuffed' off some crackers. So I feel your pain, however you need to become less dumb yourself. I go to Tim Hortons at least 2 times a week, sometimes more. Now I realize that getting a coffee with two creams and two sugar is a pretty complex order, but somehow I probably get the correct beverage 1 out of 5 times. Just the same, when I order a bagel, I would say 2/3rds of the time it looks like a drunken monkey raped my bagel then rather than toasting it just farted on it and served it to me.
Don't get me wrong, this is not always the case, but good lord, its not that hard. You cut the bagel, insert in to toaster, spread cream cheese on it and give it to me, there is no point where you need to make more than 1 or MAYBE 2 cuts. So thank you Tim Hortons for giving me delicious bagels, but you can go f*&# yourself for not being consistent with such a complicated order as a coffee and bagel.

sincerely
me