Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Sooo long story short I was at the GDC, and we were leaving one of the sessions and we saw these furries outside of the conference hall, and I looked at my friend, gave her my phone and said, press this button and keep it on me. She did, then as I walk to them you can hear me say... "Alright, fuck it .... here we go" help me out by digging here: http://digg.com/comedy/Andy_vs_Furries or watch the movie here, then go and digg it!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Dear Tim Hortons
Dear Tim Hortons,
Let me first state that I love you, you are wonderful and your treats are generally delicious. However, the reason I write to you today is to notify you of some knowledge your employees might be lacking. I have worked in food industry, and do not get me wrong, it is no treat. You get dumb people that don't understand, smart people that think they are better than you, fat people ordering sticks of butter and thin people 'getting stuffed' off some crackers. So I feel your pain, however you need to become less dumb yourself. I go to Tim Hortons at least 2 times a week, sometimes more. Now I realize that getting a coffee with two creams and two sugar is a pretty complex order, but somehow I probably get the correct beverage 1 out of 5 times. Just the same, when I order a bagel, I would say 2/3rds of the time it looks like a drunken monkey raped my bagel then rather than toasting it just farted on it and served it to me.
Don't get me wrong, this is not always the case, but good lord, its not that hard. You cut the bagel, insert in to toaster, spread cream cheese on it and give it to me, there is no point where you need to make more than 1 or MAYBE 2 cuts. So thank you Tim Hortons for giving me delicious bagels, but you can go f*&# yourself for not being consistent with such a complicated order as a coffee and bagel.
sincerely
me
Let me first state that I love you, you are wonderful and your treats are generally delicious. However, the reason I write to you today is to notify you of some knowledge your employees might be lacking. I have worked in food industry, and do not get me wrong, it is no treat. You get dumb people that don't understand, smart people that think they are better than you, fat people ordering sticks of butter and thin people 'getting stuffed' off some crackers. So I feel your pain, however you need to become less dumb yourself. I go to Tim Hortons at least 2 times a week, sometimes more. Now I realize that getting a coffee with two creams and two sugar is a pretty complex order, but somehow I probably get the correct beverage 1 out of 5 times. Just the same, when I order a bagel, I would say 2/3rds of the time it looks like a drunken monkey raped my bagel then rather than toasting it just farted on it and served it to me.
Don't get me wrong, this is not always the case, but good lord, its not that hard. You cut the bagel, insert in to toaster, spread cream cheese on it and give it to me, there is no point where you need to make more than 1 or MAYBE 2 cuts. So thank you Tim Hortons for giving me delicious bagels, but you can go f*&# yourself for not being consistent with such a complicated order as a coffee and bagel.
sincerely
me
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Odd...
So it turns out life everyonce in a while throws you a new lesson... Yesterdays lesson was do not go running / jogging on the treadmil with 'skater' shoes. Grant it these are the most comfortable shoes I have ever owned and I love them (Vans), they are not good for running.
That being said, I thought I would write about my meeting with Pearl. Her real name is not Pearl, nor do I know her however she struck me as a person who would have such a name. As
I was walking out of Jitters to my car this woman drives up in her 2008 "mid life crisis car" (I think a cougar convertible) and asks "Excuse me young man, do you knwo what this is..." and points to her dashboard (by the way, she is at least 90 years old). Upon further inspection it turns out her hazards are on. I told her that and she just stared at me like a dear in head lights. I then told her that she needed to push the button that she first pushed to get the hazards on... deer in head lights... I then told her to look for an orange triangle and push it. She just acted like I told her that I not only gave birth to a cow, but then raised it on my own, sent it to the Moon for after school work, then slaughtered it and consumed it myself, all in a 2 week time span. I then looked around and found it on her dash, and told her "It's OK, just push that..." She did, then looked happy said thanks and literally peeled out. It was odd... I think she might have stolen it. God bless you Pearl, you provided me entertainment!
That being said, I thought I would write about my meeting with Pearl. Her real name is not Pearl, nor do I know her however she struck me as a person who would have such a name. As
I was walking out of Jitters to my car this woman drives up in her 2008 "mid life crisis car" (I think a cougar convertible) and asks "Excuse me young man, do you knwo what this is..." and points to her dashboard (by the way, she is at least 90 years old). Upon further inspection it turns out her hazards are on. I told her that and she just stared at me like a dear in head lights. I then told her that she needed to push the button that she first pushed to get the hazards on... deer in head lights... I then told her to look for an orange triangle and push it. She just acted like I told her that I not only gave birth to a cow, but then raised it on my own, sent it to the Moon for after school work, then slaughtered it and consumed it myself, all in a 2 week time span. I then looked around and found it on her dash, and told her "It's OK, just push that..." She did, then looked happy said thanks and literally peeled out. It was odd... I think she might have stolen it. God bless you Pearl, you provided me entertainment!
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